My youngest turns 16 this weekend.  I’ve been writing more about my kids here lately and maybe that’s because they’re getting older and I’m growing less young.  My to-be 16-year-old has always been a bookworm and even when we declared “lights out” on any given evening, we found surprises…

My work has taken us to three different states thus far and my wife and I remember one event in another state vividly.  Our boys were newly enrolled as a 2^nd grader and a 4^th grader.  Sometime soon thereafter I was requesting a teacher conference for my youngest.  He had apparently run afoul of teacher policy by ditching recess and getting chummy with the librarian instead so he could check out some books.  Apparently, this was a no no and his teacher at the time dressed him down for running rogue.  By the time I caught wind of the gist of the story it was too late to slow me down.  During my parent-teacher conference, I point-blank said, “my Alex violated your rules because he wanted to read too much, correct?”  Obviously, I did not engage this teacher’s cooperation but the principal knew I was coming and perfectly timed her intercept about 7 minutes into the exchange.

I share all this because we were living in the state rated number 1 for public education at the time and I was working for the largest school system in the state (the 17^th largest in the US).  My boys had a good enough grade 2 and grade 4 experience in year 1 but we moved them in year 2 to a different school and the difference was night and day.  My message here is leadership matters and strong principals assemble the best teachers.  This absolute tends to be universal so you don’t need to move to benefit from this truth.

Even our puppy talks back to us these days.  What’s up with that?!  And apparently we should be promoting back talk according to this MIT study.  My 16-year-old to be exercised this argument flawlessly today when he shared with me he would “save his breath because any elaboration …ends in metaphorical plugging of ears and using authority to prove our supremacy.”  Parents know there was a lot more to the response and I’ve taken editorial privilege, but in general, it still highlights the schism that lives on between the old and young.  I like my kids so that affords them some liberty when they run their mouths – some liberty.  And then I fall back on a pic like this one below that my superintendent at the time took of me and mister metaphorical at a community gathering…

I’m not sure if sweet sixteen still applies to kids these days – seems to be more drama than I remember.  But pretty much everyone that knows me well will attest my memory is selective.  Happy Birthday Alex – even if you’re restricted from most devices that would allow you to even read this blog.  Our DNA is too much alike so I likely have already channeled the mental message as we speak.…

Hopefully there is a collective bond in this entry’s title that speaks to all sections of society.  The more common rhetoric goes something like a “parent would do anything for their kid.”  Most often, I get to see this assertion prove true.  As school folks, we sometimes land on an opposite end of a parent and when we do we generally schedule a 1:1.  Sometimes these meetings go well and sometimes they do not.

I came across this article by Business Insider about parenting and most of what it had to offer hit my check boxes.  According to the article, these are things we [parents] should be doing with our children:

1. Spend Quality Time Together
2. Talk about feelings
3. Practice coping skills
4. Engage in mental strength exercises
5. Establish goals
6. Take care of themselves
7. Process tough events
8. Review rules
9. Problem solve
10. Play and have fun

So as a parent, what would you not do for your kid?  For me like you, nothing – we would do anything for our kids and school folks as a whole would do anything for their collective kids. I’m amazed most days by the outreach my own two receive from their teachers on matters big and small. And in different ways, their campus administrators look out for them as well.

My wife and I have been intermittently traveling with our oldest in touring colleges.  It’s been an emotional roller coaster on several fronts but it has also been a great experience.  Our son has done his part in taking care of his grades to the best of his ability which leads to our part.

And since I wrote about sleep in my last entry, this sound bite seemed appropriate:

“Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world.  But they are also terrorists. You’ll realize this as soon as they’re born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.” —Ray Romano, actor and comedian

I laughed at this reference and I suspect most parents can relate.  My oldest and I spent this past weekend touring a college – his mom and him spent the previous weekend checking out two others. 

And while it’s a bit dated, this entry from Psychological Science, would suggest parents as a collective force are an instinctual pack.

My weekend trip proved to be an exercise in unpreparedness.  I’m not ready for him to move on and he’s not quite ready for me to move him along, but he’s more ready than me!  The truth is I did not handle this trip that well.  I was essentially tasked with the role of planning for change and I landed on no change.  We drove five hours to get there and five hours back, and tonight we buttoned up an international college application some 2,200 miles away.

I’ve written about Aesops Fables before – this time I’m learning from Bruce Lee:

“Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind.”

What if?  Why not?