I had a parenting moment last week that probably would never have landed in a book by Benjamin Spock. I then had to laugh about this related Wikipedia entry “for most of his life, Spock wore Brooks Brothers suits and shirts with detachable collars, but at age 75, for the first time in his life, [his wife] got him to try blue jeans.” Aside from him being a different Spock and me not being able to flash the live long and prosper sign gesture (my fingers will not cooperate), maybe we have some things in common.
Dr. Spock arguably helped my parents subsequently help me in child rearing through trickle down guidance. He was also a dude that connected more dots than most and recognized that children needed access to service and support outside the immediate family constellation. He was not without controversy and to borrow from my closest work mate he appeared to have a “Pa Bud” litmus test, which to other practitioners seemed a bit unscientific.
My work intersects with technology a lot so we often use my kids’ accounts as tests. One day recently was no different in shopping school-related fees we were trying to assign to high schoolers. Admittedly, I have relaxed a bit this year on monitoring my kids’ grades so I got all caught up that day and then blew a fuse.
Now mind you my kid’s grades are still very good, but maybe not at the level I expect. And I unfortunately steamrolled by the time I caught up with my little friend. I reacted, he then reacted, and the overall reaction was a lesson in poor interactions. I shared my meltdown with a trusted colleague and she provided me with the truism about wisdom we should learn from child number one before child number two or more come along. She’s a mom of two daughters and her oldest was engaged to be married. Insert COVID and plans go berserko. When patience had run out this couple decided on jetting off to far and away and celebrated their nuptials with those they loved via Zoom.
And this apparently is what it looks like from afar when your first born ties the knot during the pandemic. I’m glad I’m not my parents. After all these years, I am starting to understand why they never slept well. I made normal sleeping complicated. My own kids now make normal sleeping complicated.
“When the philosopher’s argument becomes tedious, complicated, and opaque, it is usually a sign that he is attempting to prove as true to the intellect what is plainly false to common sense.”
Credits above to Edward Abbey – an American essayist who passed away in 1989. I could have used his support last week when at the apex of my adumbrating I indeed said “because I said so.” Hopefully by my journal entry my youngest will be reassured writing absolutely matters, along with every other discipline that gets a grade!
What if? Why Not? 