It amazes me how insecure my kids can make me feel on one day or in one given moment and then somehow make me feel Lebron James worthy the next.  Or Chester Bennington worthy if I was touching base with my youngest.  The obvious answer is your kids, like mine, call it like it is.  They haven’t learned that skill of biting their tongue because they haven’t had to – I hope my boys never have to.  And their insights tend to be unclouded or influenced which makes the feedback that much more seismic.

I had an educator call it like it was last week when I was doing some reflecting.  That individual said “if I have to prove every minute of my day to this district with accountability in place, why doesn’t everyone else?”  I’m the Chief Accountability Officer by title so I tend to agree.

I’ve never been a subscriber of brutal honesty because I’ve never seen it as a way to engage the cooperation of others.  My boys hopefully better understand this as well and as I’ve told many, the art of any negotiation is ensuring both parties feel like winners.  If there are losers, then somebody most likely feels hustled.  I wrote a similar message to some of our district employees recently and it sparked a reaction.  It proved to be a lesson I didn’t know was coming.  I’m not old per se but arguably quite experienced in this work and I still managed to make some miscalculations. 

I know it’s overused but it still resonates with me – “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”  Text me if you need to know the author but I am waking up more mornings asking similar questions.  I watched Just Mercy 2 times tonight and I can’t really relate, although I feel like I can.   I’m white and have benefited because of it but I continue to question how I can do more.  My conversation with a teacher reminded me that we often struggle as administrators in protecting the right work.  If teachers are worried more about our watchful eye than the learning of their kids we’ve missed the bullseye – as confession, I think all our teachers think of their kids first and deal with non-related questions eventually.

I’m watching my 2 little dudes grow each day and make me proud.  I’m a pretty good influence but their mother is the best influence on us all.  Don’t get me wrong she’s judgmental like the worst of us but she’s completely different. The last time I checked compassion was a good thing and for the Sanderson boys we have a stable reminder. 

Ultimately, I hope my boys cross some lines in the sand.  And I hope those lines ultimately mean something, too.  I’m going to try and keep doing the same and time will ultimately tell.  There’s value in the legacy you leave even if there’s a price to pay, depending on the price and whose check.  As a white man my footprint may be the same size 10 as others, but it’s a modest gesture in reverence to those who have sacrificed.  As a result, I’m always mindful of the legacy one leaves.  At its core, how do you top someone who taught you how to learn?  How do you best a true educator?

We’re in week 4 of CovidU and still working through many bumps both anticipated and never dreamed up.  We’ve had some big time high five worthy successes along with some cringe worthy sideline slipups.  We’re learning as we go and hopefully learning to grow.

We’re finding out as kids return how much of an impact this whole pandemic has really done – it’s dented the toughest armor.  Social isolation indeed subjects some to more adversity than others – this past Saturday my oldest dressed in his Sunday’s best and attended his first goodbye gathering for a peer.  His niche group now sports armbands in remembrance.  Questions of how could we have been better and more supportive go unanswered as we revisit prevention.  Don’t ever wager on a second guess.

In addition to the kids, we have staff we concern ourselves with.  In some instances, the worry isn’t even the first line of contact – I would assume this is commonplace in other industry but I can only vouch for K-12.  I have 2 staff members as I write this post high up on my “send safe thoughts” list.  Let’s try to remember who we need to succeed – I’m generally not warm fuzzy but I’m smart enough to know if the folks we rely on are “elsewhere” then we need to better support their needs.  When it comes to school, my family mirrors many of my close colleagues – my wife and I work for this school district and my kids both benefit from its teachers.  The stakes are pretty high for school success in my household.

As I penned this entry, it reminded me of a story I followed over the summer.  The short version follows a journalist with a Ph.D in psychology who engages a legendary poker pro to teach her the game.  At the time the card newbie was experiencing the full game of life which probably contributed to her “all in” approach.  By her own assessment, “poker depends on the nuanced reading of human intention, interactions, and deceptions.”  You can click the screen grab below for an excerpt write-up which also links to the book which details the entire experience.

So when do you wager?  When do you play the odds and focus on some and not others?  Never – you never make kid learning a bet, or a gamble.  You never entertain the notion that premiums can be placed on learning.  I know there’s plenty of recycled rhetoric to fill the second-guessing.  My challenge to all that read this post is you never gamble on a child’s future.  And to borrow from Erik Seidel, the famous poker player profiled in The Biggest Bluff, “Less certainty.  More inquiry.”