For those unfamiliar with the movie Tin Cup it was not quite the Cinderella story about a wannabe professional golfer. The main character had the shots but struggled under the limelight. We’re going back to 1996 on this one and lead folks were Kevin Costner and Rene Russo. For what it’s worth Dennis Burley was the best of the best as he cameoed and put TCU on the map (TCU is my alma mater – Go Frogs).
I used to play golf with regularity but that’s been a while ago; when I did play I was pretty good. I was known as the gambler on my local muni golf course but I never gambled – the locals just made their wagers. One of the most influential figures on this gambling scene was an old black guy named Bush – he was the dude. I remember visiting Bush in the VA hospital in his final days. In Shreveport (LA), where I grew up, you were either black or white, with rare exception. My best friend was black (I’m white) so that made for even more of an exchange. His name was Calvin.
We played everywhere together, or at least those places he was allowed to play (not kidding). My friend was #1 on the high school team my freshman year and then I carried on his legacy for the next three. I miss my walks with Calvin. I don’t remember too much about that time other than the bond we had – I’m sure our conversations were mostly of the silly/stupid variety but they were certainly genuine. Calvin was a ketchup guy and I was taught catsup – that’s a wrinkle difference but it tends to expand.
In all of this, I think I’ve created too many whatevers for my own kids. I want them to experience success tempered with some shield of fallout should anything go sideways. I want them to realize they live a privileged life afforded in many ways. And I want them to take advantage of that opportunity and do something with it. My friend Calvin from the day had a different circumstance and I have a better understanding of it now I think. I’ve lost contact with him but I wonder if he’s having the same conversations with his own kids? It wasn’t cool back then to be best friends with someone different but kids didn’t know different. As it would be, Calvin’s folks were stricter than mine but we still managed the sleepovers.
What if? Why Not? 
I wished I would have known Calvin. I am pretty sure he is having the same expectations for his kids as you have for yours.
I know it is your blog, but let me share a bit…growing up in a majority minority ‘hood I had a best friend, his name was Ricky. He was white I am not. He was an only child I was not, he was very rich, I was not and privileged I was not. But like you and Calvin, Ricky and Ibroke down barriers and he gave me a glimpse into a different life, he did not brag about it, we just played and hung out.
I learned a lot from him and used it to my advantage.
I never met your friend Calvin but I know you and much like Ricky, you exposed Calvin to good things, I am sure Calvin and his children are good.
We need more Rickys and Geoffs in our lives. Privileged or not, they truly valued their relationships, this made all the difference. Yes, it truly is that simple.
By the way…Tin Cup….great movie.
Keep writing my friend.
until next time….
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