For those unfamiliar with the movie Tin Cup it was not quite the Cinderella story about a wannabe professional golfer. The main character had the shots but struggled under the limelight. We’re going back to 1996 on this one and lead folks were Kevin Costner and Rene Russo. For what it’s worth Dennis Burley was the best of the best as he cameoed and put TCU on the map (TCU is my alma mater – Go Frogs).

I used to play golf with regularity but that’s been a while ago; when I did play I was pretty good.  I was known as the gambler on my local muni golf course but I never gambled – the locals just made their wagers.  One of the most influential figures on this gambling scene was an old black guy named Bush – he was the dude.  I remember visiting Bush in the VA hospital in his final days.  In Shreveport (LA), where I grew up, you were either black or white, with rare exception.  My best friend was black (I’m white) so that made for even more of an exchange.  His name was Calvin. 

We played everywhere together, or at least those places he was allowed to play (not kidding). My friend was #1 on the high school team my freshman year and then I carried on his legacy for the next three. I miss my walks with Calvin. I don’t remember too much about that time other than the bond we had – I’m sure our conversations were mostly of the silly/stupid variety but they were certainly genuine. Calvin was a ketchup guy and I was taught catsup – that’s a wrinkle difference but it tends to expand.

In all of this, I think I’ve created too many whatevers for my own kids. I want them to experience success tempered with some shield of fallout should anything go sideways. I want them to realize they live a privileged life afforded in many ways. And I want them to take advantage of that opportunity and do something with it. My friend Calvin from the day had a different circumstance and I have a better understanding of it now I think. I’ve lost contact with him but I wonder if he’s having the same conversations with his own kids? It wasn’t cool back then to be best friends with someone different but kids didn’t know different. As it would be, Calvin’s folks were stricter than mine but we still managed the sleepovers.

I have to confess with my work schedule and kids’ sport schedules, I don’t see my kids every evening.  I see them in the mornings without fail and when I do see them afterwards, I generally ask how their day went.  We’re easing back into that routine and my younger son has me wondering how much we’ve gotten right on this new remote school I’ll call CovidU.

My Alex has always been a person of few spoken words.  Most questions pointed his way receive one to two response elaborations.  So when I’ve asked about school historically, I get “good” or “fine” as standard responses.  I’m getting less “goods” and more “okays” and “alrights” these days.  It made me think of the song by Candlebox long before I had boys appropriately titled as such, “It’s Alright.”

And it’s alright, what you confide in me

And I can see things so clearly through tear-stained eyes

The side effects of time in all our good-byes, and it’s alright

There’s more to the song but for a late 90’s hit it served up the staple affirmation of together we’re better. I tried to sell that same message to our principals this morning and I hope my message was heard. They’re battling endless pulls and pullovers from their communities about what school folks should and should not be doing right now.

We heard that feedback first hand this week during our monthly school board meeting.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, what I heard that night was frustration.  Although I didn’t necessarily agree with the speakers that night, I empathized as best I could with their circumstance.

We know numbers will rise as we reopen schools – colleges are proving this theory with alarming precision (Tracking College COVID).  I made a pitch to principals this morning that was less “please don’t quit” and more “this is your moment.”  I believe this to be true and I led my address with the following quote:

“The opportunity of a lifetime must be seized within the lifetime of the opportunity.”  I reiterated the quote for emphasis but I’m not sure it took.  I saw a room full of education experts exhausted and beyond tired.  And I tend to be one who fixes problems and I’m not sure how to make right what I witnessed.  My staffers made light of some great messages involving folding cheese and not smacking friends, and it was poignant (and funny).  But I’m not sure it was enough and I worry about asking my littlest “how was school.”

I’ve had a zinger of a day so I thought I’d start this post with a zinger of a title.  I like some literary classics and so I tried to incorporate one of my personal favorites from Robert Frost into this post.  Credits to the author:

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

 

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

We woke up this morning as a family to an old dog who was ready for us to have the courage to choose the road less traveled – I’ve blogged about Lucy before and today we went on our final road trip.

The whole experience made me think about servant leadership but not in the typical, recycled, self-promoting way.  People will generally say what they will but I think most folks know I will say what I mean.  Our chocolate lab spanned more than a decade with us and when I looked at stored pictures on my phone, she was in at least half of them easily.  She’s traveled to at least 10 different states with us and now has an Airbnb featuring her in their advertisement.  She was the consummate servant leader – she made us engage even when we didn’t want to because it was too early, or too late, or too cold, or too hot, or too rainy, or (did I mention hot) etc.

And to pivot from one of my personal favorite poems, school folks are about to journey in a way never before.  It’s clear teachers miss kids and kids miss teachers, and much of the consensus is the two are best together.  And then the disclaimer follows – provided it’s safe for all.

I’m not a doctor so I am not going to pretend to present as such.  For me personally I believe in science and I believe our top doctor has our best interests in mind when advising.  We’ve got a rocky road ahead but I believe our local school administration will do more for its teachers and staff than any other when it comes to safety.  That’s no guarantee which leads us on this road not yet traveled.  I hope all educators stay well and stay sharp and stay the course while supported by necessary safeguards.  I hope all educators can take a snippet from my Lucy story and make it their novel that all kids get to edit.