I deliberated a long time on this post – I mentioned last time I often hold lively debates with myself and this time was especially no different. For some of my bosses that I have worked for my greatest gift has always been my calculated response to any firestorm. For others, I suspect I have been perceived as a bit too late to the knee-jerk party. What my dad taught me long ago was the eternal question of whether or not a bear has freckles. What I surmise after decades of frustration under the tutelage of a living philosopher is if you know that answer you probably aren’t among the living. In short, life is complicated…
A timeline for reflection:
Westside Middle – March 24, 1998 – 5 victims
Columbine High School – April 20, 1999 – 13 victims
Red Lake Senior High School – March 21, 2005 – 7 victims
West Nickel Mines School – Oct. 2, 2006 – 5 victims
Virginia Tech – April 16, 2007 – 32 victims
Northern Illinois University – Feb. 14, 2008 – 5 victims
Oikos University – April 2, 2012 – 7 victims
Sandy Hook Elementary School – Dec. 14, 2012 – 26 victims
Santa Monica College – June 7, 2013 – 5 victims
Marysville Pilchuck High School – Oct. 24, 2014 – 4 victims
Umpqua Community College – Oct. 1, 2015 – 9 victims
Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School – Feb. 14, 2018 – 17 victims
Santa Fe High School – May 18, 2018 – 10 victims
I would encourage you to find a safe spot free of observers and review this PSA (Public Service Announcement) from the Sandy Hook ambassadors – afford yourself the privacy to watch the clip multiple times.
I cried like a baby when I first saw this clip because it reinforced everything I tried to dismiss. Sometimes it’s the preparation that creates the most fear, as silly as that might sound. Because by action and address, you are acknowledging something is real and not to be dismissed. Preparation, in effect, can serve to validate why you have reason to be afraid. The question then, as sage (really old) philosophers might reason, is if you plan for something, does that mean you expect it to happen?
I’m really just paused and pressed by the answer. School violence in larger scale will continue to happen – it just will. I wish I could wave that wand to end it. And when you try to identify that one thing that’s remarkably different that alters the typical trajectory for any one individual, I suspect you will be forever stumped in your attempt.
So, here’s the deal. If you read my blog and you have conversations with others, be nice. If you could care less about the person you get paired with on any given day, fake it and be nice. If you’re not modeling that behavior for our kids, who is? And I would contend despite all the bad behavior adults might exhibit, we more likely hope our kids are our best reflection. My plea for this post and essentially all others is we find a way to clean up our acts and show our kids how to be thoughtful, kind, and supportive adults. They deserve nothing less…
If you’re still reading, find a new avenue to connect with those needing a connection. I for one have been humbled as I’ve made my rounds and visited our most diverse campuses and watched the dialogues. I relate it to family and the time-tested rule – you can talk smack about your family but when you encroach on mine then it’s game over. The quick and fierce defense I’ve observed within our own principals for their communities follows suit. Without fail, each principal postures when their respective community is mentioned because they’re ready to go to bat for whatever is needed. Sounds like a family response to me. They don’t feel obligated; they feel obliged and grateful. I hope you are fortunate enough to share in their company one day.
What if? Why Not? 